A Private Space for You
Steadfast — Walking Out of Oppression
Arielle, everything here belongs to you. These resources were chosen specifically for your situation — not a generic list, but a carefully built library for the exact ground you are standing on. Come back as often as you need. Nothing here expires.
Why This Library Exists
What you have endured is not a "difficult marriage." It is oppression — emotional abuse, financial abuse, spiritual abuse, and physical harm to your child. The pattern of performing repentance while continuing destruction is one of the most disorienting forms of betrayal a person can experience.
You also carry the weight of growing up without a single model of safety. The fact that leaving feels impossible is not weakness — it is the direct result of what was handed to you before you could choose otherwise. These resources are here to help you see clearly, grieve honestly, and move toward safety — at your own pace.
Your Resource Library
Download or revisit these anytime. They are always here for you.
Is It Abuse?
Darby Strickland — CCEF
Your foundational resource. This guide helps you name what is happening without minimizing or spiritualizing it. It addresses the exact tactics of control, entitlement, and covert abuse present in your marriage.
Download ResourceDomestic Abuse: Recognize, Respond, Rescue
Darby Strickland — CCEF
A deeper framework for understanding the full scope of domestic oppression — including how abusers use counseling rooms, church attendance, and tears as tools of continued control.
Download ResourceMarriage Broken by Pornography
Winston Smith — CCEF Audio
Addresses the devastation pornography causes inside a marriage — not as a private struggle but as a betrayal of intimacy that reshapes the entire relationship and family.
Download ResourceSexual Abuse in Marriage
CCEF 3-Part Series
A careful, compassionate series that names coercion and violation within marriage for what it is — abuse — and offers a path toward understanding your own experience without shame.
Download ResourceIntergenerational Trauma & Family Renewal
CCEF
You grew up watching addiction destroy both parents. This resource addresses how trauma passes between generations — and how the cycle can be interrupted, starting with you.
Download ResourceReclaim Your Marriage
Jenny Solomon — For When You Are Ready
Grace for wives who have been hurt by pornography. This is not assigned — it is here for you to pick up when and if the time feels right. No pressure, no timeline.
Download ResourceA Word About Performed Repentance
Therapy attendance, church participation, tears, and promises are not the same as change. When someone performs repentance while continuing every destructive behavior in private, the performance itself becomes another form of abuse. These resources will help you distinguish between genuine transformation and the appearance of it — so you can trust what you see, not just what you are told.
How to Use These Resources
Go at your own pace. There is no schedule. Some weeks you may read deeply. Other weeks you may not open anything. Both are okay.
Start with "Is It Abuse?" This is the foundation. Everything else builds on the clarity it provides.
The Jenny Solomon book is optional. It is here for a future version of you — whenever she arrives.
This page is private and permanent. Bookmark it. Return whenever you need to. Nothing disappears.
This page was built for you by Marisely Marte. If you need anything at all, reach out at lifeanchorcoach@gmail.com. You are not alone in this.
