For the Women Who Are Hiding (And Why That Makes Sense)
There are women who don’t comment.
They don’t reach out.
They don’t introduce themselves.
They don’t reach out.
They don’t introduce themselves.
They read quietly.
They watch from a distance.
They take their time.
They watch from a distance.
They take their time.
And in many faith spaces, they’re misunderstood.
They’re labeled resistant, unhealed, uncommitted, or afraid.
But that’s not what I’ve seen.
Why hiding isn’t weakness
Women don’t hide for no reason.
They hide because something once told them:
- their questions were dangerous
- their boundaries were disobedient
- their discernment was mistrust
- their hesitation was a lack of faith
So they learned to stay quiet.
To observe.
To measure safety before engaging.
To keep parts of themselves protected.
To measure safety before engaging.
To keep parts of themselves protected.
That’s not immaturity.
That’s survival.
When trust is broken slowly
The hardest part of spiritual harm is that it often happens gradually.
No single moment feels severe enough to leave.
No one event feels dramatic enough to explain.
No one event feels dramatic enough to explain.
It’s a slow erosion of:
- confidence
- clarity
- self-trust
By the time you realize something is wrong, you’re already unsure how to name it.
So you withdraw.
Not because you don’t want help —
but because you don’t know who is safe.
but because you don’t know who is safe.
Why I recognize this posture
I was a woman who hid.
Not visibly.
Not dramatically.
Not dramatically.
But internally.
I stayed involved long after my body and mind were signaling caution.
I kept showing up while quietly shrinking.
I kept showing up while quietly shrinking.
And when I finally stepped away, I didn’t rush toward new spaces.
I watched.
I listened.
I learned to trust slowly again.
That’s why I don’t rush women now.
Safety before speech
In healthy spaces, women are not pressured to share.
They’re allowed to:
- listen
- think
- wait
- decide
Speech follows safety — not the other way around.
When women are rushed into vulnerability, it recreates the same dynamics that harmed them in the first place.
I don’t want to replicate that.
Who this work is for
This work is for women who:
- know something happened but don’t have language yet
- feel guarded without knowing why
- are tired of intensity masquerading as depth
- want help without pressure
It’s for the women who sit in the back.
Who read but don’t comment.
Who listen longer than they speak.
Who read but don’t comment.
Who listen longer than they speak.
I trust that posture.
Why I don’t chase engagement
Silence doesn’t mean absence.
Some of the most meaningful work happens:
- in private conversations
- over time
- after trust is established
The women I work with often say the same thing:
“I’ve been watching for a long time.”
That tells me everything I need to know.
Healing doesn’t announce itself
Healing doesn’t rush forward with confidence.
It often arrives quietly.
Tentatively.
With caution.
Tentatively.
With caution.
And that’s okay.
If you’re hiding right now — reading, watching, waiting — there is nothing wrong with you.
You don’t owe anyone your story yet.
You don’t owe anyone access.
You don’t need to perform readiness.
You don’t owe anyone access.
You don’t need to perform readiness.
Safety comes first.
And when you’re ready, you’ll know.
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