There is a kind of grief that doesn’t come from loss of people, but from loss of time.
Years spent striving.
Years spent confused.
Years spent trying to be faithful — but formed by teaching that slowly distorted how you saw God, yourself, and the Christian life.
Years spent confused.
Years spent trying to be faithful — but formed by teaching that slowly distorted how you saw God, yourself, and the Christian life.
And when you finally see it, the grief can be heavy.
The Grief No One Warned You About
Many women expect freedom when they leave unhealthy theology.
What they don’t expect is grief.
Grief for:
- The years spent afraid of getting it wrong
- The emotional energy poured into spiritual performance
- The trust placed in leaders or systems that couldn’t carry the weight
This grief isn’t rebellion.
It’s clarity.
It’s clarity.
“I Should Have Known Better”
One of the heaviest burdens women carry after leaving bad theology is self-blame.
Why didn’t I see it sooner?
How did I fall for this?
Why did I stay so long?
How did I fall for this?
Why did I stay so long?
But spiritual deception is rarely obvious when you’re inside it.
Bad theology often:
- Uses Scripture, but removes context
- Rewards emotional intensity
- Equates faithfulness with loyalty to a system
You weren’t foolish.
You were trusting.
You were trusting.
When Grief and Gratitude Coexist
It is possible to be thankful for what God is doing now and grieve what was lost.
Grief does not cancel growth.
Sorrow does not mean you’re stuck.
Sorrow does not mean you’re stuck.
Scripture gives room for both.
“There is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4)
Healing often requires naming what was broken — not pretending it didn’t matter.
What to Do With the Anger
Sometimes grief carries anger.
Anger toward:
- Leaders who taught carelessly
- Communities that dismissed questions
- The pressure you carried silently
Anger itself is not sin.
But it must be shepherded, not indulged.
But it must be shepherded, not indulged.
God invites His people to bring lament honestly — not to suppress it, and not to let it rule.
Redeeming the Years Without Rewriting the Past
God does not waste suffering.
But redemption does not mean pretending the pain was good.
It means:
- God meets us after clarity
- He rebuilds what was misformed
- He teaches us truth patiently
You don’t have to rush forgiveness.
You don’t have to rewrite your story as “all good.”
You don’t have to rewrite your story as “all good.”
You are allowed to grieve — and still move forward.
A Gentle Word for This Season
If you are grieving years lost to bad theology, you are not behind.
You are becoming honest.
And honesty is often the doorway to deeper faith, steadier obedience, and real rest.
If this grief feels familiar, you’re not alone.
This space exists for women who are learning to rebuild slowly — anchored in truth, not urgency.
This space exists for women who are learning to rebuild slowly — anchored in truth, not urgency.
0 Comments